Waiting for Life to Start / by Louis Holstein

Waiting on God is hard. I would even venture to say that waiting on God is very hard. It seems that anytime I sense God speaking to me about what He has in store for my life, my current reality attempts to scream louder.

"Whatever you thought you heard cannot be God, just look at your circumstances."

And yes, the common notion is to believe no matter what the current circumstances are. This is what faith is after all, right? Yet, even though I know that truth, my doubt still manages to get the best of me. Recently I had a heart to heart with God. In my crying out, I needed to know where my life was going. I felt over-looked and under-used by Him. If He spoke something to my heart, when would it come to pass? When would my life start, the promised life? 

silence.

Wow. I love when in the middle of my questioning, God opens my eyes to how out of touch my questions are. "When will your life start?" God asks. In a moment flashes of my wedding day, the first successful event at my job, the day Alana was born, and the recent interdenominational and interracial Easter Sunrise Service flood my mind. "Oh, Louis, your life has begun."

Horizon // Acrylic on canvas // 8 1/2 x 11

Horizon // Acrylic on canvas // 8 1/2 x 11

It's an old, simple truth that sometimes in searching for what is ahead we miss what is right in front of us. I've been guilty of that the past few weeks. Today, however, I am encouraged, for today I was reminded that time is a gift. My standing on this earth is not owed to me. God's promises will come to pass in God's time. While that may not be today, it does not mean my life has not begun, it just simply means that part of my life is not here yet. 

Obedience (and a ton of grace) has gotten me to where I am now. It will be obedience (and much more grace) that will get me to where I need to be next. The "meantime" season is such a funny thing. It's here that we live the majority of our days. I'm humbled that God has the patience to remind me of this from time to time, day to day. May this be an encouragement to you if you are in a waiting season. Don't be fooled into thinking your life hasn't started yet because you haven't met "the one," or are not in the ideal dream job, or don't have the child you've prayed for. Rest assured, God knows and has a plan. Your life has begun, embrace today.

Colored Rain // Acrylic on Stretch Canvas // 8 1/2 x 11

Colored Rain // Acrylic on Stretch Canvas // 8 1/2 x 11

In this waiting season God has constantly said, "create." Although I have found myself in quite the creative rut, I am writing music for an original musical and I have also started a series of paintings entitled "Colors of the Meantime."

-Louis